Thanks Friends...

Thanks everyone for the lovely comments. I felt kind of stupid admitting some of my problems, and for some reason, I feel very ashamed of it all. But, the comments you've left me have made me feel not quite so bad about myself.
I have my iritis back, and have slept a lot the last couple of days because of the pain meds. I feel absolutely drugged out all the time, it's kind of annoying, but I have no choice because of the terrible pain iritis causes. I had to cancel my surgery last week because of it, and they probably won't be able to operate on my left eye because of it, but they will be able to do my right eye if they want, as long as they cover my left eye. Any light is so painful, and of course, we are having sunny mornings here. I have one eye closed all the time, and my underwear on my head. It's a bit uncomfortable, but what can you do. As I've said before, the band from my underwear makes my forehead itchy..lol.
In other news, there isn't any really. So, I'll close for now and post when I have something the least bit interesting to say.
Love u all
Take care
Tory

Lucy...You have some 'splainin to do..(think Cuban accent)

I don't talk a lot about certain things on this blog. I do sometimes hold back on some things, however, I feel I need to explain why I'm sometimes inconsistent with my posts.
Of course, I've whined (I know that's supposed to be spelt 'whinged' but it looks weird) about my eyes until you are all ready to poke your own eyes out. Sorry about that, btw. I have several health issues going on at once here, (you know how I love to multi-task!) and I thought it only fair to come clean with some of it so you can understand why sometimes I can be hilarious and sometimes I just suck at it.
I finally went to see the rhumatologist. He confirmed that I have both Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fybromyalgia, which I suspected for over a year but my family Dr. insisted was my diabetes which is not fully under control. It wasn't until my endocrinologist said that it definitely was not my diabetes that was causing my problems, that my family Dr. sent me to the rhumatologist. Believe me, before that I felt like a total hypochondriac, like nobody believed me. Except for my family. They have seen me go from an active working and useful member of society, just over a year ago, to someone who can now not leave the house, can't clean the house, can't make meals or any other useful thing. I'm so frustrated some days and I feel pretty useless to everyone around me. The only thing I'm good at is sleeping. Most days it try not to let it get to me, but some days (like today) I get depressed at how small and useless my world is. Hubby and Holly have been so understanding, it just makes me feel guiltier. And the pain...constant, persistent and annoying. My arms and shoulders are in so much pain, I find it hard to dress and shower, or even brush my hair. Showering is an adventure in exhaustion and pain. I actually have a seat I use in the shower for when I just can's seem to stand anymore. If I have to go somewhere, I have to shower the previous night, because if I wait until the day I'm going, I will be too tired to go after my shower. It sounds ridiculous, but it's true.
I feel very vulnerable telling you all this, I don't know why. I like people to think I'm strong, but I am realizing I'm just not anymore..and that scares me..a lot.
The good news is, most days I am coping just fine, and these are the happiest days of my life really, because I am so secure with all the relationships in my life. Hubby and I are still very much in love and I have great relationships with my kids and grandkids. I don't think very many people can honestly say that, so I do know how very blessed I am. I guess we all have days when we have ourselves a little pity party, right?
So, friends, when I fail to post, it's usually because I am just too tired either physically or mentally.
There, I've said it, and that's all I have to say about that.
I hope you all have a great weekend!
Take care
Tory

Twitter..

Just a note: I had to remove twitter from my blog. I just couldn't get it to work for some reason. Sorry about that.
Take care
Tory

Family + Me = FUN..

After NAI Hubby and I got married, we received our marriage certificate in the mail. I was so happy to be married to this man, I put it in a frame and hung it on our bedroom wall. A few days later, I noticed it had slipped in the frame and one half of the document had slipped down to the bottom of the frame on one side. (the frame was a little too big and I just centered it) I have never fixed it, because it really said a lot about our marriage. Nice normal guy, meets slightly loonie and cock-eyed woman. It was a perfect description of our marriage. He and I never, ever fight..not even a little. He has pretty well learned how to say, 'Yes, dear' in all the right spots, even though he's not really listening. And even though I'm aware of his tactics, I'm quite happy with things this way. So, I'm happy and I let him be happy..perfect match.
Once in a while, I find out he's not completely perfect, and that's o.k, because I would totally lose in the Olympic discipline of 'Are You Perfect?', myself.
Now, I'm going to let you all in on how not perfect he is...are you ready?....Here it comes...and..
He never puts a new roll on the toilet paper. Actually, neither does Holly. I remember one day, Hubby and Holly were watching t.v. and I came out of the bathroom. I actually had a roll of toilet paper and the roller in my hands. I yelled, 'Could I please have every one's attention for 2 seconds and then you can go back to your scheduled viewing!' I thus demonstrated, with visual aids, how to simply slide the toilet paper on the roll. I then screeched, 'Taaa Daaa! And at no time did my fingers leave my hands!! You may now go back to your regularly scheduled programming.' You know what's weird? They both actually sat there and watched me do this! I turned and marched my way back to the bathroom, giggling all the way. They really must be scared of me..tee hee.
Having that issue settled, I thought all was well in the house, until I ran to the bathroom and peed with the light off as is my usual habit. Oh, yes, the tissue was on the roll, but there was no tail left hanging down. By the time I finally found the start of the roll, I had practically air-dried. Hmmph...doesn't anybody have any bathroom etiquette? On my way out, I stopped in Holly's room. She was laying on her bed, and looked up at me when I yelled, 'Were born in a barn? If you don't leave a tail for me, I will so forbid you to use any toilet paper for 2 weeks!' I then told my hubby the same thing. I then spent the next week or so yelling, 'Don't forget to leave a tail,' every time they went into the bathroom.
When Ashley, Rob and the kids were down, I would announce the bathroom rules, about every second day or so. Ashley laughed at me and said, 'Mom, you're a loser.' True, but what does that have to do with my bathroom woes. It's like living with animals!!! Some people's Kids...and two of them are mine!
All this brings us to today. I have a bathroom mat that fits right in front of the toilet and goes to the wall. Every single time I go in, I have to straighten it out! So, I ran around here like a raving lunatic, (that's probably in my profile, Female, Mother, Raving Lunatic..etc) saying that, 'all bathroom privileges have been suspended until further notice!' Signed 'The Bathroom Prefect.' Ha, and they think I'm kidding!
Time for 'fun with hearing loss', kids. Yesterday I thought I heard the news anchor say, 'One man sent to hospital last night after a brutal flashing.'
You can imagine what I was thinking when I heard that! Was it so big someone put an eye out?
Apparently what she actually said was, 'a brutal slashing..' Whatever, mine was much more entertaining...and cheerful.
Conversations: Me: 'I have a huge floater in my eye that looks a lot like a sea horse. I even think it's almost life size.'
Hubby: 'Well, at least it's not a sperm!'
Me: 'Yeah, that's true.'
That's all for now.
Take care
Tory

Me Again..Ugh...

Well, I had a terrible weekend. I got Iritis (again!), in the eye that didn't have surgery, but that I'm supposed to have surgery in on Thursday. I doubt they could do any surgery on it while I have iritis as it is so painful and sensitive to light. But we'll see. I can hardly see a darned thing. It's so annoying. Thank goodness I don't need to see to type. Every one's first clue that I had it was the fact I was on the computer with a pair of black underwear on my head...dead giveaway! I bring the word dork to an actual art form...sigh.
Well, Poppy has 3 eggs again! Do these two ever do anything else? Let's see if they make it to hatching, you never know with Poppy.
Ok, kids, it's time for 'Things you hardly ever get to say.'
I said to the eye Dr.: 'Are you going to poke my eyes with sharp sticks?' He said no..no fun at all.
Me: The band on my underwear is giving me a rash on my forehead! Actually, I get to say that more often than you'd think!
Me: 'I think my underwear is giving me an 'ear wedgie', is that possible? Holly: With your ears, yes, it's possible.'
Me: 'Must I constantly have bird poop in my hair??' Holly: 'Yes.'
I have a really good 'fun with hearing loss' that I want to relate to you all. Yesterday Holly was doing exercises in the living room. I sat here and watched her, of course, laughing and making fun of her. She's so funny. Anyway, she was doing some kind of push-up and had her face almost buried in the carpet. I heard her say, 'I'm breaking into a slut!' I looked at her like she was crazy, 'What??'. She said, 'I'm breaking into a sweat.'
Take care all.
Tory

What An Interesting Day!

Well, I sure had a long day today. I had an appointment with my eye specialist at the hospital. I had missed two other appointments because both times we had a snow storm and couldn't get into the city during rush hour. Anyway, in order to get there today, everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. Left in plenty of time, and took and alternate route, however, it was even slower than the busy route. I was nearly 15 minutes late and was afraid they wouldn't see me. But thankfully they did, and a good thing too. My eyes are a mess because of my diabetes. I must have had 10 different tests, including being shot up with dye to take pictures of my eyeballs. After all that, the Dr. said things were serious with my eyes, but he could probably save my sight if I have (get this!) 8 laser surgeries! What??? Not only that, he wanted to do the first one today...o.k...sounds like fun. So he sent me away for some lunch and when I came back I went right into surgery. No, of course I didn't have the luxury of being put to sleep. No bullet to bite on even...actually, I exaggerate. I asked him if it would hurt, and he said yes. Fair enough, at least he was honest. All in all, the surgery took about 20 minutes, and wasn't all that painful. I think I'll live through the next 7...whatever. My eye doesn't really hurt too much, but it did give me a headache. C'est la vie! So, now I go for surgery every Thursday for the next 7 weeks. I'll be glad when it's done.
Well, it's over Sens fans. We just couldn't remember how to play hockey. We sucked and now we are gone till next fall. Boo hoo...go Calgary! You have to be flexible as a fan, don't you think?
In other news, Poppy has an egg again. She gets way more action than I do. We'll have to see how this one turns out, if it does.
Holly got her hair cut very short yesterday. It looks very cute. She started out wanting to shave herself bald...eek! I said, 'o.k. Brittany!! But don't blame me if you end up under suicide watch at the hospital!' After she had time to examine her new 'do' she told me that she looks like a 'Doodlebop', whatever that is. I disagreed. She still looks human. Anyway, she went to the trouble of finding the Doodlebops on-line, which is some sort of kids show. Huh, she was right! But she still looks cute.
Well, that's all the news that's fit to print. I'll write again soon.
Take care All
Tory

So, it's hockey fever around here. I know I keep mentioning it, but I really love hockey. My poor team, the Ottawa Senators are getting their butts kicked by Pittsburgh, but they're back at home tonight so maybe that will help...at least I hope so.

Ashley was saying that she had a friend over from school the other day, and baby boy said to her, 'Guess what's under my skin?' The girl replied, 'What?' Baby boy, 'My wiener!' at which point he was going to show her until she called for Ashley. He has just discovered that his wiener is different from his dad's as he was not circumcised. So now, he has a total fascination of it. Ashley was pretty embarrassed. Ah, kids!

I am going to start a new thing on my blog called, (taaa daaa!) 'Things You Hardly Ever Get To Say In Real Life'. This could be a lot of fun and feel free to join in.

1) 'Pass the scalpel, stat!'

2) 'Honey, did you milk the platypus?'

3) 'You regressed me last night, didn't you? I've asked you not to do that!' (I heard this line in an old horror movie)

4) 'Well knock me down and stomp me flat!' (from an old western)

5) 'Are you're wife and daughter also alien lifeforms Mr. Cruise?'

6) 'Shall we let Barney run things today, Mr. President?'

Well, you get my point...actually, I admit I don't have one, I'm just not able to think of a lot to write about these days. My life is kind of....eventless. Is that a word? Well, it is now.

I am expanding my blogroll all the time now, and I encourage you to check some of them out. People are so interesting. It's like a little snap shot into other peoples lives.

Anyway, that's all for now, folks.

Take care

Tory

Updates and Blessings!...

Good Morning all..It's pretty dark and cloudy here this morning but it's a beautiful day anyway.
Have you ever had a moment when you look at your partner and you are overwhelmed with the sense of how much you love them and what a blessing they are to your life? Last night, after NAI (new and improved) Hubby came home from work, we watched t.v. together as he relaxed. It's playoff time again, and we enjoy watching all the games as playoff hockey is so much better than regular season hockey.
I digress.
Watching the game, or anytime we spend together, we laugh so much and Holly was out watching t.v. with us, too. They always amuse themselves by making fun of me, and then Hubby and I will make fun of Holly, and we laughed so much my sides hurt.
Holly went to bed, and as usual, Hubby goes to bed before me. He gave me a kiss, and told me he loved me, and as I watched him walk away, I was overwhelmed with love for him. I realized how blessed I am. Life with Fang was hell and chaotic, but the peace and security I have with this man just overwhelms me sometimes. Thank you God, you saved the best for last in my life. I am truly,madly, deeply in love with this man, and I will never take him for granted.
Pretty sappy, eh?
Poppy lost all her eggs this time...she broke them all or something. But the good news is, it didn't take more than five minutes before she and Bailey we at it again! Nymphos.
Holly went out driving on Sunday for the first time and did pretty well according to Hubby. She had fun. Got in the car and the first question she asked was, which one is the gas and which one is the brake?! Scary!
O.K., it's time for fun with hearing loss...watching the game last night, I could have sworn the commentator said,..'Anne Murray takes the puck down the ice'..I looked at hubby..'Anne Murray plays hockey too?'..Hubby looked at me funny..'No, he said,..and Murray takes the puck down the ice'..Me: Oh..
Take care, peeps, and remember to appreciate your loved ones.
Tory

Ahh...nostalgia...

It's beginning to look a lot like spring all of a sudden. Next month we will be able to go up and open the Love Nest...Woohoo! I miss it when it's winter.
This time of year also reminds me of times when Fang and I would take the kids camping when they were little. They had their own tent and we usually had a good time. The only thing was, once night fell, I found it very boring after the kids went to bed, just sitting there watching our campfire all evening. I loved waking up in the morning, with all the smells of people making breakfast and campfires. I loved sitting on the picnic bench after breakfast with a cup of coffee just listening to the birds sing. The kids would get busy swimming and playing. We would go on nature walks and see a rabbit or two, porcupines and chipmunks. Fang was very good at camping, a natural bushman and he made us all very comfortable.
The last time I went camping, It was just the girls and I with Bambi and her family. It was the most miserable trip of my life. The first night, the girls and I just didn't have enough blankets, so I wrapped the girls up in whatever I had and nearly froze to death. I don't think I slept at all the first night. Luckily, Fang came by and dropped off more sleeping bags for us. It rained quite a bit, and it was so chilly at night, nothing seemed to help. The blankets constantly felt wet and sandy...ugh..
I knew it would be the last time I would ever go camping in a tent. I was just getting too old for that. Now I like to camp at the love nest, or the Holiday Inn.
Oh, and the car rides from hell. Fang seemed to be a nervous driver and would constantly have road rage, swearing and carrying on every 2 seconds. Then he'd yell to the girls in the back seat, 'Stop kicking my seat!' I remember one time on the highway in the middle of nowhere, Ashley piped up, 'Mom, Holly threw her shoe out of the window!' Veins popping in my forehead, I yelled, 'Holly, why did you do that?' Holly looked sheepish...'I don't know.' I screeched, 'Did she just throw it out now?', thinking maybe we could find it. Ashley said, 'No, it was a long time ago.' 'Why didn't you tell me then?', I cried, sweat running down my face. Ashley replied calmly, 'I forgot.' Aaaarrrggg! It's funny now, but it wasn't at the time.
So for those of you who still enjoy the camping trips with the kids, have a cup of camp coffee for me, 'cause there isn't a chance in hell of me ever camping again!
I'll stick to the love nest, where 'roughing it' is one ply toilet paper and running out of ice for our cocktails, which never happens!
Take care all,
Tory

Let's Be Serious For A Moment...

I was just reading through my favorite blogs, and Yobeeone has a very scary video on her site that makes you really think. If you get the chance, I think you should watch it. It's an eye-opener. You can find it at Fairy Odd World

Tory...The Rebel...

I remember 'the Mother Unit', (er,that would be my mother), saying when I was around 5 years old, 'There is no God!'. I have no recollection as to the circumstances surrounding this statement, and as far as I know, that was the first time she ever mentioned God to me. I remember, on occasion, parroting this phrase to people, having no idea what I was talking about. But, that's what 'mother unit' said, so it must be true.
Funnily enough, at 17, I found God. Actually, He wasn't lost, I was! Overnight there was a profound change in my attitude and outlook on life. When I told 'mother unit' about my experience, I will never forget the look on her face. She was absolutely horrified! You would have thought I had just told her I ate one of my younger siblings.
I would laugh to myself when I would hear her on the phone with one of her friends saying, 'I don't know where I went wrong with her, maybe it's just a rebellious stage or something. At least I hope so!' I never, ever preached to her, but she was constantly asking me questions about my faith and I would tell her, only because she asked. In a way, it seemed so personal to me at the time, I really didn't want to talk to her about it much. It was a profound experience for me, and she made it sound like a disease. But I didn't back down, or I simply couldn't back down from her questions.
After awhile, she sort of came to terms with it, when she realized that it wasn't going away. But really, she just made allowances for my 'retardedness'. lol...
A few years later, her mother was very ill with cancer. I spoke to my Grandma often, and prayed with her. She herself had found her faith through the horrendous experience of being so ill. Finally, in January, we got the call that Grandma had been hospitalized and she was not going to be around very much longer. My mother picked me up at work, and we went by car from Toronto to Montreal. It was a terrible day for driving and we came into a major snowstorm. We couldn't see a foot in front of us and it was so bad, we couldn't see to even pull over. I wasn't really worried to be honest as my 'mother unit' was an excellent driver. But I looked over at her and she was sweating bullets, clutching the wheel and leaning forward in her seat straining to try and see where she was going. The only other traffic on the road were 18 wheelers, who because of their weight, felt secure enough and experienced enough to drive at full speed. Every time one of them would go by, it would blow our car all over the road. This was the reason that it would have been unsafe to just park on the side of the highway. They would never have seen us and would have plowed right into us.
Another tuck went whizzing by us and our car spun around and landed right on top of a median at a cut-off. All of our 4 wheels were lifted off of the ground, and there we sat, sideways on the highway, teetering back and forth. The 'mother unit' freaked. A truck came roaring by, just missing our bumper and there was nothing we could do. Mother unit, in a panic told me to get out of the car, then she changed her mind and said I'd better stay in the car. She tried and tried to get 2 wheels to touch the ground to get some traction, but it didn't work. Finally, as another truck was barreling down on us, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Tory, pray.' For some reason, I was totally calm and I smiled and said, 'O.K.' And pray I did. I closed my eyes and thanked the Lord for sending us an angel to get us out of this mess. As I was praying, It felt as if someone lifted the car up from the back end and put our two front wheels onto the road. Mother unit gunned it and we were free. Shortly after, the snow stopped. Mother unit was very quiet for the longest time. Finally, she broke her silence and said, 'Did you feel someone lift up the car?' 'Ya,' I said, 'I prayed for an angel to come and help us. They're pretty strong.' 'But I felt it, I really did!' She said. Dead silence...but I could hear her mind turning...lol. Finally after a long silence, she said to me, 'What if we don't get there on time and she dies.' I replied, in all earnestness, 'I'll see her again one day..I'm not worried.' Mother unit began to cry...'I guess that's what's bugging me, I don't think I will see her again.' We had a very long talk after that, about God and His impact on our lives. She actually listened!
Grandma died a day or two after we got there. When it came time to make the arrangement for the funeral service, the family met with my Grandma's Pastor. He asked us which songs, and scriptures we would like. The whole family just sat there, at a total loss. They didn't know any scriptures to be able to choose them. I piped up, with some scriptures, suggestions and songs. I was the youngest one there and I didn't want to impose my ideas into it, but there was a very awkward silence in the room when he asked that. I could see the relief on every one's faces that I was able to come up with something so we didn't look like complete heathens. I looked at the mother unit, and for the first time, I saw she was proud. After that, if there were any questions, Mother unit would say, 'Oh, let's ask Tory, she'll know.'
That day, my Aunt asked if I would sing at the service and I did. It was a very sad day indeed, but I felt satisfied that I had been vindicated for my faith. I'll never forget it.
In other news, Holly went for her beginners driver's licence, and flunked...teehee! She went back and rewrote it and passed. We are never going to let her live this down, and I'm sure she'll be pleased I made that announcement here! My poor wiener kid!! lol...
I just have one more thing to talk about. I finally figured out what google reader is, and now that I have it, I love it. The only thing is, there is no place for putting comments there..at least, I can't find it. Anyway, I've noticed that my comments have dwindled to nil. Is that because we all have google reader and we can't be bothered? Please people, comments are what bloggers live for...don't forget to post comments on your favorite blogs. I know it's a little more trouble, but it means so much to the blogger.
Take care
Tory