Saturday, June 28, 2008

Friday, June 27, 2008

Holidays and Jazz Wings....



I'm sorry it's been so long since my last real post. Time got away from me and I didn't realize how long it had been until I got a comment from Forsythia. Thank you Forsythia. I have my wonder woman gear on and I'm ready to go! So, last week I was doing some exercises which were intended to strengthen my back. I did all of them with relative ease, although there was a lot of huffing and puffing. Holly sat there instructing me and counting me down as I did them. I was quite proud that I made it through all of them. On the last exercise, I was having some difficulty because it's a partial push up and I'm not easy to push up. On the last one, I suddenly got a terrific headache and a pain in my left eye. Oops! I'm not supposed to do any heavy lifting for a long time because it can blow the veins that they are operating on in my eye. Considering I am heavier than the fridge, it was very unwise to do this exercise. I called the eye surgeon and they said they would check it out when I went in for my last operation, which was in 2 days. Crap!! Well it turns out, I did actually cause some bleeding in there, but they fixed it during the surgery. It wasn't too bad, but I'm glad it's over with. Now I have to go back in August to see if any of this has done any good. Sometimes it just doesn't work, but they won't be able to tell until then, so we'll see. I guess the alternative is that if it didn't work, I will go blind after all. Here's hoping it worked. I'm not worried. I just don't worry about this stuff. If I go blind, I know I will adjust to it and carry on being my crazy self...nothing can stop me!
Then on Monday, we had a major family crisis. The whole house was in an uproar. NAI Hubby went out to do a cleaning of our deck. He left the door open as he was dealing with some boxes that we hadn't taken down to the bin outside our apartment. Holly took the boxes and were putting them by the front door for him. Tequila's cage is near the door and the boxes startled him. He flew into the living room and right out the balcony door and was gone. Holly and I freaked, got our shoes on and went outside to see if we could find him. We have a lot of trees around and we called him for over an hour. We were heartsick and didn't want to go inside, but I knew he was long gone or he would have answered us if he heard my voice. Hesitantly, we decided to go in. There was a lot of crying and making deals with God. We knew he must have been very afraid, as Tequila is quite a big suck. We knew he could be prey for anything, and we figured he would probably die a horrible death since he had no idea how to take care of himself. On top of that, we were getting severe thunderstorm warnings for our area. Needless to say, we were in bits over it. I put flyer's in the building right away hoping someone would see him, but I didn't have much hope since I was sure he was long gone. Now get ready for the miraculous part of the story. Holly put Queenie and Gus's cage out on the balcony, hoping that Tequila may hear them and come back because they are so noisy. Four and a half hours after he was gone, we suddenly heard him outside. We'd know his peep anywhere! Holly ran downstairs to the front yard and I went out on the balcony. (we are 7 floors up) When she got there, a man was looking up a tall tree in the front yard. He pointed Tequila out to her. There he was!! Hubby and I ran downstairs. He was sitting very high on a branch and I certainly couldn't see him, but I could hear him. Now how to get him down. A lady who lived on the first floor joined us. She had actually put her cockatiel cage out to attract him and Tequila had landed on the cage but she couldn't grab him. How nice of her. Finally, the man that was there threw a stick and Tequila took off to the side of the building into a clump of trees. By then, a boy had joined us in the search. We all ran to the side of the building and looked in every tree we could but didn't see him. The lady started walking back to the front of the building and suddenly saw him sitting on a branch just out of reach. Hubby grabbed a stick and Tequila jumped on it. He carefully pulled the stick in and I grabbed him for dear life. We were so happy! Talk about finding a needle in a haystack! Thank you Jesus! We have bought a thank you card for that kind lady who did so much to help us find him. And we've learned our lesson: from now on, Tequila's wings are going to be clipped for the rest of his life! As I type this, he is sitting on the computer desk and every time I look at him I'm so grateful he's back and o.k. That was such an emotionally draining day for all of us. It just felt like the day would never end, and I can't remember crying so much for a very long time. Talk about answered prayer!
In other news, Hubby starts holidays on Saturday, which also happens to be his birthday. We will be spending it up at the love nest and Ashley, Rob and the kids will be coming up to the love nest around the 20th of July, so I'll be staying up there longer as Hubby's holidays end on the 21st. Hopefully, after that, I can talk Bambi into coming up for a weekend. She is the hardest working person I know, and this would do her good. The love nest has a way of taking away all your stresses and cares. You absolutely forget anything that may be bothering you in every day life. I love it! But, much to my excitement, we are taking my computer up there this year so I will be able to keep in touch with you all and give you a daily account of my adventures! I'm excited.
In other, other news, I am considering going back to school to be a community service worker, which is something like a social worker but the course is only about 8 months rather than 2 years. I have been talking to the people at Everett College, and things sound very hopeful. I'm just praying my fybromyalgia will co-operate as I want this with all my heart. I'm just going to put my mind to it and get it done. I have always wanted to be a counsellor and I'm good at it already. Everyone says so. Ashley has tried to get me to take the social work program ever since she started, as she says I already know most of what she's learning. I have helped her many times with her homework and she says I'm a natural at it. I feel very passionate about having a job that does some good for people, but I don't have any credentials to back me up. This would give me the credentials I need. My main area of interest is to work with abusive men and trying to make changes in them. I have experience of being an abuse victim and I could use this experience to make them see the victims side of it. Please send good thoughts or prayers that this works out and that I will be physically able to handle it. I will be going to the interview when I get back from holidays and I'm really excited about that too.
Awww, I just looked at Tequila and he is sitting there asleep with his beak tucked into his back. I'm so grateful he's safe.
Birdie Speaking of birds, when we take Queenie and Gus out for their exercises, they get so excited, they will sit on your finger and hold on tight and flap their wings for about a second. It's so cute, it's like 'jazz hands', but Holly and I call them 'jazz wings'. I have jazz wings right now for all the things I have to look forward to...holidays, seeing my grand babies and hopefully going to school.
I'm feeling very happy right now and I hope you all have Jazz Wings too!
Take care

Wednesday, June 25, 2008


This is something you can do at wordle.com and is a lot of fun. Try it out!
Click to enlarge.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Ramblings....

Well, I must be getting old!! I find myself falling a lot for no particular reason these days. Just last week, I went over to put on the corner table lamp and for some reason lost my balance. I was aware of Holly standing there watching me as I (in slow motion) began to tip over and couldn't stop myself. I ended up sliding my butt down the cd holder, positive I was breaking each one as I went down and finally landed sitting in the dog bed in the corner. I looked up and Holly was looking at me like, 'What the hell are you doing?' She came right over to help me up, but because of my fybromyalgia, you just can't tug on my arms to pull me up. I'm far too heavy for that. She managed to get me on my (then, aching) knees in front of the couch where I struggled like a beached whale until she (surprisingly) just pretty well picked me up and stood me on my feet. (She's like the Hulk!) To make it worse, we were both laughing so that just made the whole thing impossible, really. Thank goodness she was home as I really don't think I could have gotten up on my own. Imagine everyone is out and they come home to find me in the corner, sitting in Bunny's bed. Yeah, that's not my best look.
It's not just the falling, it's other little things that I'm noticing. I tried to do some of Holly's exercises with her, and I was laying on the floor, trying to lift both my legs up at the same time in order to do some sort of belly crunch. I could not lift my legs up. So, Holly held them up while I attempted to do the crunches. The whole time I was thinking...how long has it been since I couldn't hold my legs up??? When did I lose this ability?? It kind of freaked me out...sigh!
I know I've talked about the fact that I can't open anything anymore. Hubby has to break my Popsicle and open the package for me like I'm a 2 year old. Holly opens all my bottles of water, pop, mayonnaise etc...ugh. I figure the next phase for me will be strings on my mittens and my name and phone # on my book bag...sigh...and yes, I will have to use a book bag because I am constantly forgetting my purse everywhere, to the point that I've stopped using a purse. (but I haven't stopped buying them!)
Anyhoo, the baby birdies are ready to be hand fed. They are actually trying to leave the nesting box on their own, so today we will take them out and start feeding them. Holly and I are not really looking forward to it as much this time, as it's a lot of work, especially for 3, but it's time. I have some new video of them from the other day on my photo/video blog. They are going to be beautiful. Ashley has informed me that she wants 2 of them, so I really only have one to sell. Let's see how that goes.
There's not much else new around here to report, but I'll post again soon.
Take care

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

An Original Poem By Me...


The Feather

Today I found a feather,
In a most curious way,
It landed right in front of me,
From where, I cannot say.
Large and white and perfect,
no blemish nor a mark,
And it was such a mystery,
Imagination, caused a spark.
Gracefully, it lilted,
descending from on high,
perhaps a white-winged Pegasus,
A myth who happened by.
But no, I have the answer,
I feel it in my soul,
The Master of the Universe,
reminding me I know.
That angels camp about me,
close by me day and night,
The feather a reminder,
I'm always in God's sight.

Tory 1997

Friday, June 06, 2008

Same old, Same old....

Hi all. Well, yesterday was Thursday, time for the old gouging out of the eye with a laser...ugh! It hurt more than ever but I think it's because I had iritis in this eye not so long ago and it may be more sensitive. I only have one session left on the same eye in two weeks time and I will be done...wooohoooo! Again, I left the room and had to make my way down the elevator and out of the hospital while crying like a big baby. How embarrassing. I'm standing in the elevator with like 6 other people, sobbing in my corner. Nobody knew where to look...including me. Gosh, what a suck I am. I'm usually very good with pain, but this just doesn't seem to be working for me.
Today I'm having quite a hard time seeing very clearly. Thank goodness I don't really need to see in order to type. Hopefully, it's readable.
The three new babies are getting so big. It looks like Marie may actually be white!..'You are not the father'! Strange, isn't it? Maybe there's something Poppy needs to tell Bailey..not that I think he'd care, really. I will get some new video of them today and put it on my photo/video blog. They are adorable.
Now for 'Things You Hardly ever get to say in real life:

1) 'If you do that for too long, will my eyeball explode?'
2) 'I have no children.' (That was for Forsythia!)
3) '(To my bewildered NAI Hubby) - I'm not going for my eye surgery unless your mother makes me egg salad sandwiches.'
4) 'I have a floater that's the shape of a seahorse still in my eye, can you blast it with the laser.' (Yes I said this to my surgeon, even though I knew that seahorses are on the endangered species list!) Btw, he wouldn't...bastard!
5) 'Gee I hope we can sell some of these baby birds...I feel like I'm in an Alfred Hitchcock movie.'
These may be things that one hardly ever gets to say, but I managed to say all that within the last 48 hours or so...sigh.
Anyway, in other news..and on a more serious note..I have stumbled across some pretty amazing blogs in the last week or so. They are blogs written by people who have what used to be called Multiple Personality Disorder, now called Dissociative Identity Disorder.(DID) The reason I am so interested in this disorder is because 'the mother unit', (my mother) had it. (I realize now how insensitive I was with her..even calling her Sybil all the time! She never caught on.) It was very stressful, to say the least, growing up with her, but reading these blogs has really given me some empathy for what 'the mother unit' was going through. She never sought any help for it, as every time she went near a psychiatrist, they would lock her up for various lengths of time. I really realize, after reading these blogs, that 'the mother unit' did the absolute best she could with what she had. It was not her fault that some of her 'people' hated me and she was not aware of what terrible things they did to me. She, to this day, does not remember anything she ever did that was traumatic to me. I once confronted her a few years ago with some of the things she did that still keep me up at night. The look on her face said it all! She said simply, 'That didn't happen.' I could tell from her reaction that she had no memory of it. I knew she wasn't lying. I dropped it, as I wasn't talking to the right person who actually would know what happened. I was frustrated, but I also realized that the woman I was speaking to just didn't know what was going on half the time. She was not aware of what the others inside her did and just had spaces of no memory all her life.
I digress!
I just want to thank these brave people who blog about this disorder. It can't be easy, actually, for them, life is very hard and I appreciate that they share with us how it is for them. I never thought of it from the other side before, and I've learned a lot from reading their and all their 'personalities' postings. God bless you for helping me to understand what I may not of considered before. Bringing awareness to DID will help to combat some of the stigma and misconceptions about it. May God grant you all some peace.
Anyhoo, have a great weekend all and I'll write again asap.
Take care