Family + Me = FUN..

After NAI Hubby and I got married, we received our marriage certificate in the mail. I was so happy to be married to this man, I put it in a frame and hung it on our bedroom wall. A few days later, I noticed it had slipped in the frame and one half of the document had slipped down to the bottom of the frame on one side. (the frame was a little too big and I just centered it) I have never fixed it, because it really said a lot about our marriage. Nice normal guy, meets slightly loonie and cock-eyed woman. It was a perfect description of our marriage. He and I never, ever fight..not even a little. He has pretty well learned how to say, 'Yes, dear' in all the right spots, even though he's not really listening. And even though I'm aware of his tactics, I'm quite happy with things this way. So, I'm happy and I let him be happy..perfect match.
Once in a while, I find out he's not completely perfect, and that's o.k, because I would totally lose in the Olympic discipline of 'Are You Perfect?', myself.
Now, I'm going to let you all in on how not perfect he is...are you ready?....Here it comes...and..
He never puts a new roll on the toilet paper. Actually, neither does Holly. I remember one day, Hubby and Holly were watching t.v. and I came out of the bathroom. I actually had a roll of toilet paper and the roller in my hands. I yelled, 'Could I please have every one's attention for 2 seconds and then you can go back to your scheduled viewing!' I thus demonstrated, with visual aids, how to simply slide the toilet paper on the roll. I then screeched, 'Taaa Daaa! And at no time did my fingers leave my hands!! You may now go back to your regularly scheduled programming.' You know what's weird? They both actually sat there and watched me do this! I turned and marched my way back to the bathroom, giggling all the way. They really must be scared of me..tee hee.
Having that issue settled, I thought all was well in the house, until I ran to the bathroom and peed with the light off as is my usual habit. Oh, yes, the tissue was on the roll, but there was no tail left hanging down. By the time I finally found the start of the roll, I had practically air-dried. Hmmph...doesn't anybody have any bathroom etiquette? On my way out, I stopped in Holly's room. She was laying on her bed, and looked up at me when I yelled, 'Were born in a barn? If you don't leave a tail for me, I will so forbid you to use any toilet paper for 2 weeks!' I then told my hubby the same thing. I then spent the next week or so yelling, 'Don't forget to leave a tail,' every time they went into the bathroom.
When Ashley, Rob and the kids were down, I would announce the bathroom rules, about every second day or so. Ashley laughed at me and said, 'Mom, you're a loser.' True, but what does that have to do with my bathroom woes. It's like living with animals!!! Some people's Kids...and two of them are mine!
All this brings us to today. I have a bathroom mat that fits right in front of the toilet and goes to the wall. Every single time I go in, I have to straighten it out! So, I ran around here like a raving lunatic, (that's probably in my profile, Female, Mother, Raving Lunatic..etc) saying that, 'all bathroom privileges have been suspended until further notice!' Signed 'The Bathroom Prefect.' Ha, and they think I'm kidding!
Time for 'fun with hearing loss', kids. Yesterday I thought I heard the news anchor say, 'One man sent to hospital last night after a brutal flashing.'
You can imagine what I was thinking when I heard that! Was it so big someone put an eye out?
Apparently what she actually said was, 'a brutal slashing..' Whatever, mine was much more entertaining...and cheerful.
Conversations: Me: 'I have a huge floater in my eye that looks a lot like a sea horse. I even think it's almost life size.'
Hubby: 'Well, at least it's not a sperm!'
Me: 'Yeah, that's true.'
That's all for now.
Take care
Tory

Me Again..Ugh...

Well, I had a terrible weekend. I got Iritis (again!), in the eye that didn't have surgery, but that I'm supposed to have surgery in on Thursday. I doubt they could do any surgery on it while I have iritis as it is so painful and sensitive to light. But we'll see. I can hardly see a darned thing. It's so annoying. Thank goodness I don't need to see to type. Every one's first clue that I had it was the fact I was on the computer with a pair of black underwear on my head...dead giveaway! I bring the word dork to an actual art form...sigh.
Well, Poppy has 3 eggs again! Do these two ever do anything else? Let's see if they make it to hatching, you never know with Poppy.
Ok, kids, it's time for 'Things you hardly ever get to say.'
I said to the eye Dr.: 'Are you going to poke my eyes with sharp sticks?' He said no..no fun at all.
Me: The band on my underwear is giving me a rash on my forehead! Actually, I get to say that more often than you'd think!
Me: 'I think my underwear is giving me an 'ear wedgie', is that possible? Holly: With your ears, yes, it's possible.'
Me: 'Must I constantly have bird poop in my hair??' Holly: 'Yes.'
I have a really good 'fun with hearing loss' that I want to relate to you all. Yesterday Holly was doing exercises in the living room. I sat here and watched her, of course, laughing and making fun of her. She's so funny. Anyway, she was doing some kind of push-up and had her face almost buried in the carpet. I heard her say, 'I'm breaking into a slut!' I looked at her like she was crazy, 'What??'. She said, 'I'm breaking into a sweat.'
Take care all.
Tory

Updates and Blessings!...

Good Morning all..It's pretty dark and cloudy here this morning but it's a beautiful day anyway.
Have you ever had a moment when you look at your partner and you are overwhelmed with the sense of how much you love them and what a blessing they are to your life? Last night, after NAI (new and improved) Hubby came home from work, we watched t.v. together as he relaxed. It's playoff time again, and we enjoy watching all the games as playoff hockey is so much better than regular season hockey.
I digress.
Watching the game, or anytime we spend together, we laugh so much and Holly was out watching t.v. with us, too. They always amuse themselves by making fun of me, and then Hubby and I will make fun of Holly, and we laughed so much my sides hurt.
Holly went to bed, and as usual, Hubby goes to bed before me. He gave me a kiss, and told me he loved me, and as I watched him walk away, I was overwhelmed with love for him. I realized how blessed I am. Life with Fang was hell and chaotic, but the peace and security I have with this man just overwhelms me sometimes. Thank you God, you saved the best for last in my life. I am truly,madly, deeply in love with this man, and I will never take him for granted.
Pretty sappy, eh?
Poppy lost all her eggs this time...she broke them all or something. But the good news is, it didn't take more than five minutes before she and Bailey we at it again! Nymphos.
Holly went out driving on Sunday for the first time and did pretty well according to Hubby. She had fun. Got in the car and the first question she asked was, which one is the gas and which one is the brake?! Scary!
O.K., it's time for fun with hearing loss...watching the game last night, I could have sworn the commentator said,..'Anne Murray takes the puck down the ice'..I looked at hubby..'Anne Murray plays hockey too?'..Hubby looked at me funny..'No, he said,..and Murray takes the puck down the ice'..Me: Oh..
Take care, peeps, and remember to appreciate your loved ones.
Tory

So...What do ya think...?

One thing about blogging, you can always find something new you want to do. I noticed that Andrew at http://www.4thavenueblues.blogspot.com had something called a twitter, which was really fun to read. Now I wanted one too. I had no idea how to get one..so off to search for it all day yesterday. It seems to take me all day to do stuff other people can do in 5 minutes. Oh well, it kept me out of the pool halls..
I digress...
I finally figured it out and got to twittering, but didn't like the way it looked on my site...what to do?!
Today I realized that you could have 3 columns on a web page..Aha! I tried to figure out all that template jibberish and then Holly walked by. Aha, again!
I said, 'Holly, I love you.' She replied, 'Whatever it is...no!' I'm not beyond pleading and whining, she should know that by now. Finally, she sat down at my computer and found a new template for me, with 3 columns. For a second, she was my hero, that is until I realized that all my pictures and widgets were gone. But I managed to get them back up, for the most part, and I am so happy with how it all turned out. That Holly is a good kid sometimes, so I don't plan on selling her yet. I was going to put her up on EBay, but maybe I'll wait a bit.
Poppy has only one egg now,as the other one is broken. She is so mean to Bailey, I'm considering getting him his own cage while she's on the nest. Tonight she bit him very hard on the foot and made it bleed. Holly and I were mortified, and felt terrible for him. I'll have to call my bird supplier and see what he thinks. Poor Bailey. We should have known because Poppy has all the earmarks of a serial killer. We'll have to keep our eye on the situation.
Queenie and Gus are doing great. I'll have to take some video of them in the next day or two and put it on my photo/video blog, so keep checking back.
Fun with hearing loss...I heard the announcer on t.v. say, (about a serial killer) 'Tears from a kitten, but not for his victims.'
I think he must have said, 'Tears from a killer....
That's all for now, group.
Take care
Tory

Empty Nest Syndrome....

Well, I've been abandoned...my grandbabies are gone. Apparently, Ariel cried for her Nanny half of the way home ...sigh. Of course, I cried when they left and felt heartsick to see them go...sigh. We had a wonderful time, the house was busy and loud and I loved it. They grow so fast and I feel like I'm missing so much. It's hard to believe that Ariel is 5 and in school already. She's so smart, and drew me a million pictures while she was here. Most of us had ice skates on in the pictures...so cute. Baby Boy is getting so big as well. He has the cutest little face and says the funniest things. He thinks baby Scarlett is a boy even though his mother keeps telling him she's not. He also thinks Scarlett is the family pet. He pats her on the head and says, 'Cute little animal!' One day Ashley noticed that his jeans were bulky, so she asked him, 'Stephon, what do you have in your pants?' He replied, 'My testicles!'. (Do you ever write a word that you're almost 100 percent sure you've never written before? Testicles would be one of those words for me...and now I've written it twice in one post! The 'testicle word elves' will be very pleased with me.)
Last but not least, baby Scarlett. She is so beautiful with her deep blue eyes. She is such a happy baby and smiles constantly.
...Sigh.... We were so busy, I didn't get around to taking any pictures, so the morning they left, I thought I'd better get some...the battery was dead in my camera..but not to worry, I gave them a new camera for their computer and Ashley promised to send some soon.
In other news...the baby birdies are real birds now, In a cage and eating seed. They are fully weaned. I was afraid to stop feeding them their formula, in case they went hungry, but they're doing great. They've been weaned for a week now. Too cute..I will take some videos of them soon. They fly so gently, almost like hummingbirds. So, just for fun, I checked out their pelvis's to get a clue as to their gender. Gus is definitely a Gus...but Leonard definitely feels like a female. So, we changed her name to Queenie. Because their bones are still soft, it is hard to tell for sure until they are about 5 months old...but I'm almost positive. If not, too bad...we will force Queenie into dresses and heels and insist she remain a girl, for our amusement..(I put the word 'fun' back in dysfunctional, don't I?)
I have to tell you that I found Forsythia's blog http://lifeinmerlin.blogspot.com/ and read the whole thing in one sitting. She is so funny. One of the things she writes about is what she calls, 'Fun With Hearing Loss'. I hope you don't mind, Forsythia, if I borrow this idea. It's so funny.
Yesterday, I heard the news anchor on t.v. say, 'It's going to take a lot of pigeons for your commute home today!'
What she actually said (I assume) was, it's going to take a lot of PATIENCE...
Have a great week, everyone!
Take care
Tory