Happy New Year!!! O.k. I'm back....

I bet you guys thought I fell off the face of the earth by now. I didn't, but what a ride it has been.
So, I left the job at the shelter, as they wouldn't let me get involved at all except to cook all day.  I went in to the directors office and told her exaclty how I felt and she offered me a job there.  I said no and left that day. 
I then went on to enjoy the rest of the summer at the lovenest and had the grandkids up.  We had a ball at the beach together.  I realized how much I'm really hating it being so far away from them and missing so much of their growing up.
You know, I'm not one of those 'kid people'; I just don't like little kids that much, but my grandkids totally have my heart and I really love spending time with them.  Even after a week of a messy and noisy house, I still don't want them to go.
So, at the end of the summer we had to make a discision as to where we wanted to live.  We ended up back in Toronto, not far from NAi Hubby's mother.  Which was handy.  We were able to have her over all the time for dinner and now that Holly was driving, she would take her shopping and she loved having a 'grand daughter' as much as Holly liked having a grandmother.  Mom spoiled Holly silly and even paid her tuition into pastoral college.  I was floored.  That was so generous of her.  Anyway, Holly was definately her favourite person on the planet.
So, Ashley, Rob and the kidlets came down for the Chistmas holidays and Holly went back with them to spend some time with her sister.  She ended up staying there for nearly all of January and kept phoning and saying that she wished that we would move back to our old area to be near Ashley and the kids.  I didn't think Holly would ever want to go back there again.  I was telling NAI Hubby this and he suddenly said, 'O.k., let's move there.'  I was stunned.  I would never want to live in this scuzzy little town again but the area is gorgeous and I actually missed it.
So, Holly and Ashley were thrilled that we would live close together finally, as that's what we had planned all along, but Rob is a small town boy and Toronto just wasn't for him.(and I didn't blame him!)  So, Holly came back home to help pack and I went out to Ashley's house to look for a place to live.  I was there for about two weeks when Hubby called and said that they had to take his mother into the hospital with stomach pain.  I was quite worried, but not overly as she was a pretty healthy 72 year old woman.  She was still living in her own house and was very indepenent.
The next day Hubby called to say that her bowels were leaking and she was toxic and they would need to go in and repair the leak.  I knew then it was very serious.  I told Hubby I should come home and he said not to because the Dr.'s felt they could fix it.
After the operation, she had one good day then one bad, and it went on that way for a few days.  She began to have respiratory distress and very quickly things went downhill from there.  My poor Hubby called me in hysterics last monday pleading for me to get home a.s.a.p.  I have never heard Hubby like that before and it really freaked me out.  I felt desperately helpless.  I grabbed my insulin, a few meds and Ashley and I hit the road.  I was so afraid I would not get there in time.  And I really didn't want my Hubby to have to go through this alone.  Plus, I wanted to see this precious lady one more time.  She was so good to me.  I just felt sick when we started on our journey home.
Ashley doesn't have her full liscence yet, so she is not allowed to drive on major hiways, so we had to take a slower secondary highway from just outside Ottawa to Toronto.  On a regular highway, it would take about 5 hours.  It was all good going up until Kingston, the halfway point.  We suddenly were hit by a blizzard so bad, we had to drive at a crawl.  Ashley is a good driver, so neither of us was worried, but we knew this was going to be a very looooong drive home.  I was praying for two things, 1- We would get there safely and 2- We would get there in time. 
Then it got dark and Ashley was having a terrible time seeing.  She couldn't tell what part of the road was the part we should be driving on.  It was not busy, but there were still some cars coming towards us on the other side.  I could tell Ashley was a bit nervous.  And with my eyes, I could barely see Ashley, never mind the road.  There were two cars coming towards us and Ashley turned the wheel just slightly to make sure we were on our own side when we suddenly spun out in front of the two oncoming cars.  And just as suddenly, the car spins around and we end up in the ditch on our side of the street, with our front tires totally in the ditch.  We were missed by just a hair by these two cars.  When we finally came to a stop. Ashley was completely unhinged.  She was shaking so badly I thought she was going to have a nervous breakdown.  Nof one of those two cars stopped to see if we were alright; they just kept on driving.  Great, out in the middle of nowhere, blizzard conditions, no clue where we even were, and my kid's falling apart beside me.  Hmmm, what to do.  Finally I asked Ashley if the car was a front wheel drive.  She was still in a panic and said she couldn't remember.  Finally, a guy that was behind us stopped and came over to the car.  I asked him if he knew if our car was a front wheel drive and he said yes.  I asked him where we were and he mentioned a Native Reserve.  He said he'd go back to his car and call for help.  I'm thinking tow trucks and hassles etc. so I told Ashley to just floor it and we'd get out of there.  She did and voila, we were out.  What really had her shaken up was that she's afraid of the airbags in the car.  She is a very tiny girl and has to sit pretty close to the wheel to reach the pedals.  She has heard so many stories about the airbags going off on small people and really injuring them.
O.K. Back on the road....30 K/H....sometimes 20 K/H...poor Ashley, and the weather was getting worse with every kilometer.  And she was very freaked out because she had barely touched the wheel and wasn't even near the break and we spun so bad.  It freightened her that it could happen again at any time for no reason.
So, we're crawling and up ahead we see a bunch of cop cars etc. and there was an officer standing in the middle of the road stopping cars.  We thought it might be a R.I.D.E. program so we stopped and the officer said there was a huge accident just ahead and we'd have to take the major highway past the accident.  So we turned around and Ashley is freaking because she isn't even liscenced for the big highway.  But we have no choice.  I tell her she'll do fine, just go slower and just make it to the very first cut-off which shouldn't be too far away.  It sounded good in theory but I didn't think of one thing.  The trucks!!  They were zooming by at well past the speed limit and it was blowing us (at 30k/h on a 100k/h road) Everytime a truck or any other vehicle could be seen in her rearview mirror, Ashley would immediately pull over until the coast was clear.  Sometimes it was every 20 feet.  Then she'd pull over and cry.  She was so scared.  It took us nearly an hour to get to the next cut-off.  And the weather was just getting worse.  I felt terrible I had got Ashley into this mess.  She was a wreck.
We finally got to a gas station in the middle of nowhere and called home.  Poor Hubby was worried sick.  He had even called Ashley's house just after we left to say don't leave, there's a storm coming.  So, I promised to phone every two hours or so.  Altogether, it took us 16 hours to do a five hour drive.  We then went straight to the hospital.
Mom was in a private room and she was asleep most of the time, as they had her on a morphine drip.  She seemed happy to see me and I told her I loved her.
Very long story, just a little shorter....Mom died on Saturday.  I was the only one there when she took her last breath.  God Rest her soul...
The memorial will be on this coming Saturday. And I have no underwear...
So, we are staying in her house right now until everything is done and then we are gone for good.  Hoooray!!!  I really hate the city and will be glad to see the back of it.
Well, I'm exhausted and have a cold, the second one this new year!?  So I'll write after the memorial on Saturday.
Again, forgive my lengthy absence.  I'll try to do better.  Lots of new things up ahead for us, so I'll keep you posted.
Forsythia, thank you for your patience with me.  I hope you're good.

Life At The Youth Shelter...

Well, it has been an interesting week! Didn't get many hours in this week at the shelter, and to be honest, I felt like walking out on the first day.
I only worked for 4 hours on Monday and it felt like an eternity. What did they have for me to do?? Supervise lunch, make sure the kids did their chores...then nothing really. I just wandered around basically asking if I could help out. Sure, I could clean out a large room full of donated goods, which would only take about 3 weeks if I hurried. I was very dissappointed to say the least. I did not pay $14,000 for an education to be the lunch lady or the cleaner. Not to mention, morning is not my friend and to be there by 8 or 8:30 a.m. was a fate worse than death. I've been used to the afternoon shift for years. And to make matters worse, they only wanted me to come in that early to make breakfast!! No way...this is a 24 - 7 shelter and I decided to talk to her (the administrator) about doing afternoon shifts. After all, I'm free help and they can take advantage of that to a point, but I should be able to make my own hours. I decided to talk to the lady about it the next day.
When I got there Tuesday morning, one of the kids was standing outside, looking like 'ordered but not picked up', so to speak. She informed me that the shelter was completely on lock-down until 5p.m. and nobody could get in until then. It would have been nice to have been told this, but I wasn't. The poor girl was stuck standing outside for the rest of the day, and it was hot. We ended up driving her to a friends house. I realized that this was probably breaking some kind of rule, but too bad. I couldn't just leave her out there.
Now I was really annoyed.
I didn't go in on Wednesday, but gave them a call. She apologized for not informing me of the meeting. I told her that I would be busy until Friday, because frankly, I was pissed off. I said I would give her a schedule and would she mind if I worked the afternoon shift. She said, (thankfully) that would be fine. O.K. I was happy with that.
I decided I would work from 1 to 7p.m., Monday to Friday and a few times a week, go and help out in the various programs they have in the evening, such as Anger Management, AA and NA. That would fill in the rest of my hours. She is fine with that. Praise the Lord!!
Today I went in with some trepidation, as I did not want to be stuck in the kitchen all day again. I was thinking as I walked in, 'Be assertive, Tory. Insist on them teaching you the ropes!!' O.K. So, after I made the evening snacks, (a fruitbowl and dip), and being told I would be resposible for them every day, (crap!) I went to the front line and told one of the women, 'O.K., teach me about the intake process!' And she did!! I then read some of the residents files and spent some time talking to the kids themselves, one on one, in a casual kind of way. It was great! They were so willing to tell me about themselves, which I was surprised at. I thought they would be hesitant to speak to a newcomer. But, for each and every one I spoke to, my heart broke for them. Sad, sad, sad.
But all in all, it was a really good day. I'm so glad, as I really thought I would have to look for another placement. Something usefull, but today I believe was useful and I'm very happy.
I'm tired tonight, because I was getting used to my life of leisure at the 'love nest.' I don't work tomorrow, but on Sunday evening I'm going to help out at the NA (narcotics anonymous) meeting. I'm really looking forward to that. It is an open meeting and is mostly made of people from the community, not too many kids from the shelter go there. It will be a great learning experience.
Other than that, not much else is new. I'm still waiting to hear from the interview I did on Tuesday to see if they want me to do counseling for them. I hope they do.
That's it for now.
Take care.

Well, hello all. Been so busy this summer, but no excuses for not blogging. But I'm back. A lot has happened, so it may be a long read.
We're up at the love nest, and are having a wonderful time. I was supposed to have found my co-op before June 9th but it was impossible in such a small town, so it took me awhile and today I have started working in a youth shelter run by the Salvation Army. Not the area I'm looking to work in full time, but perfect for experience, you know how unpredictable kids can be. They are between the ages of 16 - 25. Should be interesting.
Tomorrow I have a interview to do Christian Counseling at the Salvation Army Church, part-time. That's going to be fun. So, my dreams seem to be coming true and by the time we get back to Toronto, in the fall, I will be ready to take a full-time post somewhere. Yay!!
Ashley and the grandbabies came up for a week 2 weeks ago. They are getting so big and I miss them so. Would you believe Scarlett is 2 already? And yesterday was Ariel's 7th birthday. We had a lot of fun and spent most of the time at the beach.
Beach, Beach and more Beach seems to be the theme this summer. NAI hubby had 2 weeks vacation and he, Holly and I went to a terrific beach about an hour from here. It was so beautiful but even with sun block, we all got a little too much sun. However, the next day while we were in the food store, Holly suddenly exclaimed, 'OMG, what's wrong with you?' I was going to tell her, 'My mother had DID, I'm riddled with anxiety, my ex screwed me around for 20 years and my feet hurt.', however that's not what she meant. My face had swollen to twice it's size around my forehead and nose. Holly, being the compassionate and loving daughter that I raised her to be, then started yelling, 'You're the Elephant Man!, which made NIA hubby walk away from us. Sigh....
We were going to go back to the beach the next day, but when I woke up I was still very swollen. Plus, just to top it all off, poor hubby had the beginnings of cellulitis which is quite serious. So, off to the hospital hubby and I went, hoping for a group rate. Poor hubby had to go back to the hospital for 3 days straight for I.V. antibiotics. As for me, they think it's an allergy, but have put me on antibiotics for a sore on my head. What a way to end poor hubby's holidays. Plus, we had made a big picnic for the beach for nothing. We ate macaroni salad, tomato salad and sandwiches for 4 days. Ugh..
I had my 51st birthday in July, (don't tell anyone) and I think it was the best birthday I've ever had. It was perfect in every way. NIA hubby and Holly outdid themselves this year and I felt very special..and old..
Anyway, it was wonderful and I must be getting old because I find myself reflecting on how great my life is these days. I really do. I'm overly blessed and soooo happy. All my relationships are excellent and satisfying. No stress in my life at all even with my new 'elephant man' look. Actually, it's getting better. At least my new boss didn't run screaming from the office, which could have been fun.
So, (I know I always say this, but) I will be blogging more often from now on as I would like to keep a journal, of sorts, about the early days of my new career, so I can look back and laugh at myself and how unsure I am at this point. And to see how much I learn and grow. But don't worry, I won't make it too boring, I promise.
Gosh, I've missed writing this blog. It has been great having it to just jot down the crap that goes through my head. I guess you all know that.
I'll write again tomorrow and let you know how I made out at work and at the interview.
Take care and thanks for hanging in with me.
Love,

P.S. I will post new pics of grandbabies on photo blog.

An Homage To A Great Teacher!

Well folks, it's all over but the crying. I am finished school, and after my practicum, I will be officially graduated. I'm even getting a graduation picture, just like a real person!
Today I went by my school to sign off on my marks and I wanted to bring my wonderful Professor some sort of gift for all her efforts. I was going to get her a plant, but that just wasn't good enough for this wonderful lady, so I ended up getting her a ginormous slow cooker. She loves food, and she is probably one of the busiest people on the planet, so I thought that would be a good idea especially since she has growing teens to feed. We must have hugged and kissed each other a hundred times. It was like we missed each other all ready! But she was gracious enough to give me her personal cell # and e-mail address, promising to remain good pals forever. And I will be keeping in touch with her, as she has single-handedly changed my life. You know how you can pick out just a few people in your life that you know changed the course of your future? Well, she's one of those people for me, and believe me there hasn't been many in my life. I could sing her praises all day long. She really cared about our success, and her job is completely thankless. Some of the stranger types seem to give her a hard time, for no reason, but, if you show up, listen to her and do as she teaches, you can't lose. She is also very musically talented and gave me one of her CD's, on which she wrote all her own music. Her voice is smooth and beautiful. Holly and I were floored. God Bless You, Doc....Don't stop doing what you do. You made me believe I could actually do it and you will forever be my mentor, my model and now, my friend! Love you!

How Time Flies...

Has it really been that long since I wrote?? Wow!
O.k. All the latest that's fit to report. I will be finished school on Friday, May 7th and then have my big exam the following Monday, May 11th. From the 12th until July 3rd, I do my practicum and that's it, I'm done!! I am on the honour roll, can you believe it?? It was a shock to learn that. I never did well in school before, but I really enjoyed this course. I've learned a lot.
Now for the fun part...we have given up our apartment for July 1st and will be living up at the 'love nest' for the summer. I really wanted to get out of this town, as I hate it here as does Holly. We are so excited to be up north we've already started packing. I really shouldn't say 'we' as it is Holly who is getting us ready to go. She has been so helpful to us, while I've been at school. She's kept the house clean and made some great meals. I'm very proud of her. She is finally done with high school and is really looking forward to going to a bible school in Toronto in the fall. So, we will be moving to Toronto in September and I know I will be able to find a job there. I know of one place in particular that works with Native men who are alcoholics and since I'm native, I would do well there. They are a new agency and are always looking for people, so that would be great. But there are so many opportunities in Toronto, I'm sure I will find something I like.
Holly has also been working on getting her driving license and should have it by July.
Life is very exciting right now, and there's a lot of pressure for this final exam. Please say a prayer for me to remember everything as it's worth 70% of my mark. Whew!!
Right now my mood is very positive, excited even, and everything is going so well. I feel like we will be starting fresh and living a new life, which always excites me. We all have 'Jazz Wings' over this! I think I'm a gypsy at heart. I have never stayed in one place very long except when the kids were growing up and going to school. I didn't want them to have to adjust to a new school all the time, so we stayed put all through their school years. It was a good decision as now they have friends who will probably be lifelong, BFF's!
Everyone in my 'petting zoo' is doing fine except for one fatality. My sweet Heffalump died about a month ago. He first got something called 'Bumblefoot' and lost weight rapidly. Holly began to hand feed him smoothies and oatmeal and we even took him to the vet for some antibiotics. He seemed to rally a bit and gain a bit of weight. But the next week he again lost more weight. I looked in on him one day, and he looked just awful. I picked him up and held him for about an hour. He died in my arms, being petted and talked to which he loved. He tried to squeak for me but barely got it out. I know he was only a hefalump, but I was truly sad to see him go. I loved him very much and if I was feeling down, I would pet him and he'd talk to me and give me wet little kisses. I really miss him. Sleep well, my little sweetheart! I have him in the freezer so I can bury him up at the love nest.
Anyhoo, you may or may not be glad to hear I have quit smoking for nearly 2 months. My life is really not worth living anymore, and I still crave it terribly. Everyday I say to my family, 'I'm smoking tomorrow and you can't stop me!', and everyday they reply, 'O.K. Go ahead'. And every day I don't, but I haven't got a clue why not?! Can anyone give me just one good reason why I shouldn't smoke, cause I can't think of one. Everyone says, 'So you won't die.' That's it, that's the reason. Are you kidding me? Do I really want to live longer and be this miserable?? I really can't see any good reason why I can't smoke. But I tell you what...if my Doctor ever says, 'Tory, you have terminal cancer.', I will leave his office, go to the store and get the biggest pack of smokes ever. And I will enjoy every puff...so there! Sigh....
Actually, I think it would be so hypocritical of me to counsel addicts while smelling of cigarettes. That is honestly the only reason I quit. Plus Holly kept nagging about some crazy second hand smoke stuff...whatever...brat...sigh...why doesn't she move out?...sigh..
O.K. I'm over it...
Anyway, I will be able to write more often once I'm up at the love nest, as my summer will be my own. Boy, I really can't wait. Holly and I are going to be alone for a lot of the time as NIA Hubby will be staying with his mother on work days and just coming up on the weekends until his holidays kick in. So, Holly and I are going to go to garage sales, fishing, lots of swimming at the beach and in the pool after dinner. We will be going to the driving range, the farmers market, reading, I will work on my book, and she will continue with her Hebrew lessons. Not to mention I have some books pertaining to different therapeutic measures that I'd like to read before I start a job in the field. I also have several books I want to read for pleasure as I have read nothing but psych books, reports and other technical things for so many months now, I have to get caught up on the Twilight series, at least that's what my girls tell me. Actually, I read the first one and it was really good.
Anyway, Holly and I are also looking forward to experimenting with food this summer. She has become very interested in cooking lately, and has learned a lot. We watch the food network together a lot and I answer her questions. So, we've gotten together a bunch of recipes to try out. NIA hubby is mostly a meat and potato's man, so we're going to cook with recipes I don't think he'd like.
Well, this was a long post, but I have a lot of stuff happening right now.
I hope you are all well. Yes, Forsythia, I will be blogging once again starting in July. Hi Andrew, I hope you're doing good. I will catch up on all your blogs tonight.
Take care

Still at school....So just a quick note...

Whew~been so busy with tests, tests and more tests..I feel like a lab rat. But I'm doing fine as far as marks go. I just got my mid-term marks and my average was 90%. Not bad for an old lady when there's so much memory work. I have thought and thought about the kind of counseling I'll be doing. I started out wanting to counsel abusive men, and I still may do that, but I'm leaning more on Christian counseling at a church. Well, it could all change again before I'm done, so I'll keep you posted on that.
Holly is doing fine, trying to finish up her high school and then off to pastor's college. Hey, maybe she'd let me be a counselor at her church. Oh boy, mayhem....I can see it now.
Other than that, there is so much not new around here right now. Except, once I get my degree, we will be moving into the city, (Toronto) to be closer to my wonderful mommy-in-law. And work will be better there as well. Sometime in the next few years we will be moving back to the Ottawa area as I miss it so much. I absolutely hate where I live now and I've been here for nearly 6 years and have never warmed up to it.
Holly has been learning to speak, read and write Hebrew. It's hilarious to hear her. She tells me that she is actually dreaming in Hebrew at this point, which is really good. It's funny when I go past her room and she has a Hebrew radio station on...Shalom, you crazy kid!! Actually, she will need it for pastor college and this will put her ahead of the others as it is usually one of the courses you take in order to study the bible.
All the animals are doing well. Lumpy is as fat as ever and the birds are still evil, but we love them. Poppy has 6 eggs on the go right now, but she's not sitting on them much. Maybe she's fed up! Oh well, who has the time for 6 babies right now? Not me, if I can help it. And poor Bunny has lost 2 or 3 teeth in the last few months or so. I think she's older than we think.
Anyway, consider yourselves up to date on my boring life. So sorry I'm posting so little lately. Maybe once I get a job, I'll be able to post all day, every day...lol.
NAI hubby is doing just fine. He's busy at work and managing just fine without me, which is great. I love that about him....I think.
By the way, I seem to have lost my Title Header and no matter what I do, I can't get it back. Any suggestions??? This has been a problem for months and it's driving me crazy. Oh, well.
By the way, I'll be posting new pics of the grandbabies in the next few days. You won't believe how they've grown. You'll find them on my photo/video blog.
Take care

Merry Christmas and Pass the Vodka...

Well, it's that time again people. Christmas cheer, family, birds 'banging', me falling...oh wait...that's just a Friday for me, I forgot.
I hope you are all readier for Christmas than I am!! Nope, not in the least bit ready...sigh. And we're getting the tree today....where did I put those decorations??? I believe they're under a my small mountain of small kitchen appliances in the storage closet. You know, the one that's so crammed full of junk you can't close the door anymore...sigh.
Holly had her surgery on Tuesday. She's doing very well, but has a mouthful of cankers that are causing her more pain than her teeth. Poor Holly! But she has found some solice in swigging vodka every once in awhile. Either it helps the pain or she just doesn't care anymore!! Merry Christmas Holly!
Well, some good news. Ashley, Rob and the grandbabies came on Monday. The kids are getting so big! and so are the grandbabies..lol. I love having them here; I just want to keep them forever..all of them. Somehow, we'll pull this mess together and make a beautiful Christmas of it because I have all the main elements for the best Christmas ever. I have my loving family here all together for the first time in a long time and that's all the Christmas I need.
So, now for 'Adventures in Toryland'. Ashley, Ariel and I go for a simple trip of grocery shopping yesterday, but it was snowing like blazes. We took our bundle buggy with us and when we came back we got stuck with the buggy in the deep snow. Ashley and I are pulling and pulling until I (of course) fell down. That was it. I could not get up no matter how we tried. I was about ready to get out my blackberry to phone Rob to come and get me, as everytime Ashley tried to help me, I would fall again and spin. We look up, and there's a man shoveling snow. Ashley asked him to help us and he came over and helped me up and even pulled our cart for us into the building. It was then I realized it was my next door neighbour! Embarrassing! Ashley couldn't stop laughing long enough to be of any help to me at all...the rotten kid. She's just like her sister...sigh.
Anyway, school is going great and keeping me busy. Homework and more homework, but I'm enjoying it.
Just in case I don't write again before Christmas, may I extend God's Richest Blessings to you all from my family to yours.
Take care

School, School And More School...

I know, it's been awhile..the title says it all. Lots of homework but my grade average is about 95%, so I'm happy with that.
I am so enjoying school, I love learning, it turns out and by the time I'm done, I will have a college diploma as an addictions counselor and community service worker, another words, a social worker. It seems so hard to believe at my age that I will get this diploma and I'm really looking forward to being a help to people. It will make my life worth something, you know?
NIA Hubby and Holly have been so supportive. They have both managed to take care of most of Christmas for me and getting the house ready.
Now for some really fun news! Ashley, Rob and my grandbabies will be down for Christmas this year, for the first time in at least 4 years. I'm so excited to see their little faces making ginger bread houses and cookies etc...So fun.
Poor Holly has to have surgery on Dec. 16, to have her wisdom teeth out...ouch. They have not been able to push through the gums because there is not enough room, so they will have to go after them. I will take the day off school because she has never had an operation before and I know she will be anxious about it.
Tomorrow I go for more laser surgery on my eyes. They have found more bleeding in my eyes and aren't sure they can save my sight, but oh well, life happens. My school is really good about letting me take Holly there to do my notes when I have my laser surgery, so she will go to school with me tomorrow. She's a good kid.
That's all the news for now. I'm not that interesting really right now because my life revolves around school, But I miss you all and a special thanks to Forsythia for hanging in with me.
God Bless you all this Christmas season! May you and yours stay close and warm.
I'll write again soon-er!
Take care

School Days...

Well, I'm back. I've been so busy with homework for this particular module at school. It was body, mind and health and it was very interesting. I really enjoyed it. There was quite a lot of work to do but i loved it. We had 2 tests, an essay and a presentation. I am really convinced that God has truly been directing my ways these days. I can actually get up in front of my class and do a presentation without any signs of a panic attack or anything. I'm getting quite comfortable up there and that's just not me.
We are starting to get some practical teaching on how to practice therapy and I find it very exciting.
In this module and the last, (psychology) my overall mark was 88%. Now before you start thinking about how brilliant I am, I should tell you about our phenomenal teacher. She has her Doctorate, so she's actually a professor. But she's very low key about that and asks us to just call her by her first name. That's actually very helpful to me as, if I had to keep being reminded of how smart she is, I could be intimidated by her. Her manner is not intimidating and she's a lot of fun. But the main thing I appreciate about her, is that, she sets us, her students, up for success. She teaches in such a way that it's really hard not to pass. The way she prepares us for tests is actually the main reason I'm getting decent marks. I really believe this and I thank God for her every day. Each module has ridiculous amounts of information that we have to absorb and at first it doesn't seem humanly possible, but she manages to get it pounded into our silly little heads and with just a little effort on the students part, it works out somehow. For example, the textbooks from which we study can be very convoluted in their definitions. Often, the definition makes no sense at all to me, but Teacher explains it so much simpler and makes it very understandable. She is also brilliant at getting you to retain what you've learned, which was something I was particularly worried about at my 'old age'.
So, yes, school is great and I'm loving it.
In other news...I take Holly to school on the days I have a test because once we write the test, we are able to leave. So, it's company for me and we usually go out for lunch after. Good bonding time for us....er..most of the time. So, yesterday, Holly came to school with me and afterwards went to Wendy's for lunch. We had a good time and went outside to sit on the curb in the parking lot while we were waiting for NAI Hubby to pick us up. He forgot we were at Wendy's and drove by us to go to the school. I started to get up from the curb when I saw him coming and Holly held out her hand to help me up. Good kid, right?? Noooo! She yanks my arm out of the socket, I go flying on my face in the parking lot, landed on my elbow and knee, did some sort of weird 'break dancing' move, (break dancing was never my strong point), my shoe goes flying across the parking lot probably nearly putting Holly's eye out. Suddenly she lets go of me and I'm spinning on my fat belly uncontrollably. When I finally stopped, I look up and she's got her phone in her hand calling Hubby to tell him where we are. She then hangs up the phone and looks down at me. 'What are you doing?' she asks innocently. Urgh, kids. I told her I was practicing my hip-hop moves. How could she have missed that entire theatrical program I put on in the parking lot? I hope no one from school was driving by!
More news of schools and fools to come.
Take care all.

Yes, yes, yes, I know I suck. I am so sorry about the long lull in my blog. I have actually been really busy and have a good excuse for not being here.
I stayed up at the love nest for 5 whole weeks! As you know, one of those weeks were with the grandkids. We had such a wonderful time in spite of the fact that the weather wasn't co-operating a lot. We went fishing and I watched my babies catch their first fish. Yay, a milestone I didn't miss. Scarlett started walking the day she arrived and was walking like a little soldier by the time she left. It was so cute.
I spent the rest of the time relaxing and enjoying my time up there.
Now for the big news! I started school last Monday! Yes, I actually did it, even though I didn't think I could. I am in college for the Addictions and Community Service course. I'm loving it, I really am. The teachers are fantastic and the students are wonderful as well. So far, so good as far as understanding and retaining. This was a concern for me being a 'mature' (nice word for ancient) student.
I had a couple of mishaps at school though. I fell down 2 days in a row. Embarrassing, but I'm used to that! But the second time I fell, on Thursday, I actually sprained my arm. My wrist, fingers and shoulder were throbbing and I couldn't really write very well on Friday, but it worked out. I'm so excited, as on Monday we start psychology. I am very interested in that subject, but I hope I can retain all the facts. I'll just try my hardest and pray.
So, I was thinking...what should I do about my blog as I don't want to just let it go, as I have done for the last couple of months. I have decided to leave it until the weekend, and make an effort to let you all know how it's going. That's better than nothing, right?
So, I'll meet you here next weekend to let you know how my week went.
I have missed you all, and will try not to neglect you through my schooling.
Take care all..

The Love Nest With Perks!!

I have been neglecting my blog for awhile, so sorry! I am still at the love nest but with perks...Ashley, Rob and the grand kids are up for a visit. We are having a great time with them, except Holly and I have colds for some reason.
The kids have had fun going to the beach and the pool, and Scarlett is now walking like a little soldier! She's only been walking for 6 days, but she gets around really great. It's so cute to see her older brother and sister interact with her. Most of the time, they are really good with her and she tries to play with them. So cute!!
Stephon woke up and asked his mother this morning, 'Why do we keep sleeping here, Mom?' Too funny. Ariel is getting so big now and is smart as anything. Nothing gets past her.
Of course, I will be sad when they have to leave again, but hopefully it won't be too long before we see them again. And yes, I will probably cry when they leave, as I always do. Sigh....
NAI Hubby finished his holidays Monday and had to go back to work, so we were alone all week. However, we are anticipating his arrival late this afternoon. We've missed him. The love nest just isn't the same without him around.
The kids will be taking their 3 baby lovebirds home with them, and I know Holly and I will miss them too as we have gotten a little attached to them. We have to stop that if we are going to be able to sell them the next time Poppy has a batch...sigh...
We have had really bad weather for them being up. It seems we had thunder storms just about every day. They have managed to pop out to the beach in between storms. It has been thundering all morning again today....sigh....
Anyway, more news as soon as it comes in.
Take care

Holiday Time At the Love Nest!!

Well I know that's it's been a long time since the last post, but we are up at the love nest and are having a wonderful time. It seems like we've been pretty busy, but there's been a lot of relaxing going on too. It's just the best place to be in the world, especially if you want a break from the city.
We set up our new patio set, and have eaten many meals out there. Right now it's pretty hot and humid, so we will stay in until it cools down a bit, which it should tomorrow. But that's ok, it gives me time to catch up on posting and reading my fave blogs. Hubby just went out to pick up a few things we need and Holly is listening to music. We are all bonding pretty well as a family and it's been so good for all of us being up here.
This year I have had a bad case of psoriasis, all along my right arm from my elbow to my fingers. Very itchy and annoying. When I unpacked, I found what I thought was Hubby's psoriasis ointment in my bag. I used it faithfully every day since I got here. It didn't seem to be helping much, but at least it didn't feel as itchy. Holly was sitting on the couch and she noticed the cream. She asked me if I had been using it for my psoriasis, and I replied proudly, yes, every day. She picked it up and then just looked at me like I was crazy. Now what did I do?? 'Mom, this isn't psoriasis cream.' 'Of course it is!' I replied. 'No Mom, this is vaginal cream for a yeast infection!' I was floored! 'Are you kidding???' I replied, shocked. Sure enough, that's what it was. Gosh, I'm such a dork. Of course, Holly laughed for a full 10 minutes and has mentioned it about 100 times since. What a brat! All I had to say in my defence was, 'I told you I can't see!'
Since I've been here at the love nest, I have been having some really bad coughing fits and I've almost lost my voice. (Much to the thrill of my family!) Also, my glands under my neck have swollen up, but they don't hurt. I've also had a lot of dizzy spells. So we decided to hop over to the nearest town, to see if I could get some cough meds. I told the Dr. all the symptoms, focusing on my throat and glands. I thought the dizzy spells could be from a possible ear infection or something like that. It was all good up until I told her of the dizzy spells, which were bad enough that Hubby had to hold my hand when walking from the car to anywhere. I was actually afraid that I would pass out in front of people and embarrass myself....yeah, like that would be something new for me..
Anyway, she said she was concerned about my dizziness. She layed me down and took my blood pressure, which I've never had a problem with. Of course, it was normal. Then she asked me to stand up. My blood pressure plummeted to the point that she and Hubby had to hold on to me, I was so wobbly. She thought that I was dehydrated, but was not sure why my blood pressure was doing this, so she took some blood and urine tests and I should hear by Friday. I'm fine, just a bit dizzy.
Ashley, Rob and the kids will be coming up around July 20th and I'm so looking forward to that. We'll have a great time and I've bought the kids some fun toys to play outside with. I can't wait!
After they've gone, I will be inviting Bambi out for a rest. Just a girls weekend. I'm looking forward to that a lot.
Just as I've been writing this post, a big storm has developed. There is no nicer sound than the rain on the tin roof, it's so relaxing and somehow comforting.
Saturday night the trailer park had Canada Day fireworks. We all took our lawn chairs to the center of the park where there is a big park. It was a beautiful night and they really do a good job of the fireworks. It lasts about 40 minutes or so. Would you believe I fell asleep in my lawn chair?! Even through all those pops and bangs, I managed to have a lovely nap. Hubby and Holly laughed at me, of course. They're just jealous of me...
Anyway, happy holidays all.
Take care

Our Pets...

Click to enlarge.

Holidays and Jazz Wings....

I'm sorry it's been so long since my last real post. Time got away from me and I didn't realize how long it had been until I got a comment from Forsythia. Thank you Forsythia. I have my wonder woman gear on and I'm ready to go! So, last week I was doing some exercises which were intended to strengthen my back. I did all of them with relative ease, although there was a lot of huffing and puffing. Holly sat there instructing me and counting me down as I did them. I was quite proud that I made it through all of them. On the last exercise, I was having some difficulty because it's a partial push up and I'm not easy to push up. On the last one, I suddenly got a terrific headache and a pain in my left eye. Oops! I'm not supposed to do any heavy lifting for a long time because it can blow the veins that they are operating on in my eye. Considering I am heavier than the fridge, it was very unwise to do this exercise. I called the eye surgeon and they said they would check it out when I went in for my last operation, which was in 2 days. Crap!! Well it turns out, I did actually cause some bleeding in there, but they fixed it during the surgery. It wasn't too bad, but I'm glad it's over with. Now I have to go back in August to see if any of this has done any good. Sometimes it just doesn't work, but they won't be able to tell until then, so we'll see. I guess the alternative is that if it didn't work, I will go blind after all. Here's hoping it worked. I'm not worried. I just don't worry about this stuff. If I go blind, I know I will adjust to it and carry on being my crazy self...nothing can stop me!

Then on Monday, we had a major family crisis. The whole house was in an uproar. NAI Hubby went out to do a cleaning of our deck. He left the door open as he was dealing with some boxes that we hadn't taken down to the bin outside our apartment. Holly took the boxes and were putting them by the front door for him. Tequila's cage is near the door and the boxes startled him. He flew into the living room and right out the balcony door and was gone. Holly and I freaked, got our shoes on and went outside to see if we could find him. We have a lot of trees around and we called him for over an hour. We were heartsick and didn't want to go inside, but I knew he was long gone or he would have answered us if he heard my voice. Hesitantly, we decided to go in. There was a lot of crying and making deals with God. We knew he must have been very afraid, as Tequila is quite a big suck. We knew he could be prey for anything, and we figured he would probably die a horrible death since he had no idea how to take care of himself. On top of that, we were getting severe thunderstorm warnings for our area. Needless to say, we were in bits over it. I put flyer's in the building right away hoping someone would see him, but I didn't have much hope since I was sure he was long gone. Now get ready for the miraculous part of the story. Holly put Queenie and Gus's cage out on the balcony, hoping that Tequila may hear them and come back because they are so noisy. Four and a half hours after he was gone, we suddenly heard him outside. We'd know his peep anywhere! Holly ran downstairs to the front yard and I went out on the balcony. (we are 7 floors up) When she got there, a man was looking up a tall tree in the front yard. He pointed Tequila out to her. There he was!! Hubby and I ran downstairs. He was sitting very high on a branch and I certainly couldn't see him, but I could hear him. Now how to get him down. A lady who lived on the first floor joined us. She had actually put her cockatiel cage out to attract him and Tequila had landed on the cage but she couldn't grab him. How nice of her. Finally, the man that was there threw a stick and Tequila took off to the side of the building into a clump of trees. By then, a boy had joined us in the search. We all ran to the side of the building and looked in every tree we could but didn't see him. The lady started walking back to the front of the building and suddenly saw him sitting on a branch just out of reach. Hubby grabbed a stick and Tequila jumped on it. He carefully pulled the stick in and I grabbed him for dear life. We were so happy! Talk about finding a needle in a haystack! Thank you Jesus! We have bought a thank you card for that kind lady who did so much to help us find him. And we've learned our lesson: from now on, Tequila's wings are going to be clipped for the rest of his life! As I type this, he is sitting on the computer desk and every time I look at him I'm so grateful he's back and o.k. That was such an emotionally draining day for all of us. It just felt like the day would never end, and I can't remember crying so much for a very long time. Talk about answered prayer!

In other news, Hubby starts holidays on Saturday, which also happens to be his birthday. We will be spending it up at the love nest and Ashley, Rob and the kids will be coming up to the love nest around the 20th of July, so I'll be staying up there longer as Hubby's holidays end on the 21st. Hopefully, after that, I can talk Bambi into coming up for a weekend. She is the hardest working person I know, and this would do her good. The love nest has a way of taking away all your stresses and cares. You absolutely forget anything that may be bothering you in every day life. I love it! But, much to my excitement, we are taking my computer up there this year so I will be able to keep in touch with you all and give you a daily account of my adventures! I'm excited.

In other, other news, I am considering going back to school to be a community service worker, which is something like a social worker but the course is only about 8 months rather than 2 years. I have been talking to the people at Everett College, and things sound very hopeful. I'm just praying my fybromyalgia will co-operate as I want this with all my heart. I'm just going to put my mind to it and get it done. I have always wanted to be a counsellor and I'm good at it already. Everyone says so. Ashley has tried to get me to take the social work program ever since she started, as she says I already know most of what she's learning. I have helped her many times with her homework and she says I'm a natural at it. I feel very passionate about having a job that does some good for people, but I don't have any credentials to back me up. This would give me the credentials I need. My main area of interest is to work with abusive men and trying to make changes in them. I have experience of being an abuse victim and I could use this experience to make them see the victims side of it. Please send good thoughts or prayers that this works out and that I will be physically able to handle it. I will be going to the interview when I get back from holidays and I'm really excited about that too.

Awww, I just looked at Tequila and he is sitting there asleep with his beak tucked into his back. I'm so grateful he's safe.

Speaking of birds, when we take Queenie and Gus out for their exercises, they get so excited, they will sit on your finger and hold on tight and flap their wings for about a second. It's so cute, it's like 'jazz hands', but Holly and I call them 'jazz wings'. I have jazz wings right now for all the things I have to look forward to...holidays, seeing my grand babies and hopefully going to school.

I'm feeling very happy right now and I hope you all have Jazz Wings too!

Take care

This is something you can do at wordle.com and is a lot of fun. Try it out!
Click to enlarge.

Ramblings....

Well, I must be getting old!! I find myself falling a lot for no particular reason these days. Just last week, I went over to put on the corner table lamp and for some reason lost my balance. I was aware of Holly standing there watching me as I (in slow motion) began to tip over and couldn't stop myself. I ended up sliding my butt down the cd holder, positive I was breaking each one as I went down and finally landed sitting in the dog bed in the corner. I looked up and Holly was looking at me like, 'What the hell are you doing?' She came right over to help me up, but because of my fybromyalgia, you just can't tug on my arms to pull me up. I'm far too heavy for that. She managed to get me on my (then, aching) knees in front of the couch where I struggled like a beached whale until she (surprisingly) just pretty well picked me up and stood me on my feet. (She's like the Hulk!) To make it worse, we were both laughing so that just made the whole thing impossible, really. Thank goodness she was home as I really don't think I could have gotten up on my own. Imagine everyone is out and they come home to find me in the corner, sitting in Bunny's bed. Yeah, that's not my best look.
It's not just the falling, it's other little things that I'm noticing. I tried to do some of Holly's exercises with her, and I was laying on the floor, trying to lift both my legs up at the same time in order to do some sort of belly crunch. I could not lift my legs up. So, Holly held them up while I attempted to do the crunches. The whole time I was thinking...how long has it been since I couldn't hold my legs up??? When did I lose this ability?? It kind of freaked me out...sigh!
I know I've talked about the fact that I can't open anything anymore. Hubby has to break my Popsicle and open the package for me like I'm a 2 year old. Holly opens all my bottles of water, pop, mayonnaise etc...ugh. I figure the next phase for me will be strings on my mittens and my name and phone # on my book bag...sigh...and yes, I will have to use a book bag because I am constantly forgetting my purse everywhere, to the point that I've stopped using a purse. (but I haven't stopped buying them!)
Anyhoo, the baby birdies are ready to be hand fed. They are actually trying to leave the nesting box on their own, so today we will take them out and start feeding them. Holly and I are not really looking forward to it as much this time, as it's a lot of work, especially for 3, but it's time. I have some new video of them from the other day on my photo/video blog. They are going to be beautiful. Ashley has informed me that she wants 2 of them, so I really only have one to sell. Let's see how that goes.
There's not much else new around here to report, but I'll post again soon.
Take care

An Original Poem By Me...

The Feather

Today I found a feather,

In a most curious way,

It landed right in front of me,

From where, I cannot say.

Large and white and perfect,

no blemish nor a mark,

And it was such a mystery,

Imagination, caused a spark.

Gracefully, it lilted,

descending from on high,

perhaps a white-winged Pegasus,

A myth who happened by.

But no, I have the answer,

I feel it in my soul,

The Master of the Universe,

reminding me I know.

That angels camp about me,

close by me day and night,

The feather a reminder,

I'm always in God's sight.

Tory 1997

Same old, Same old....

Hi all. Well, yesterday was Thursday, time for the old gouging out of the eye with a laser...ugh! It hurt more than ever but I think it's because I had iritis in this eye not so long ago and it may be more sensitive. I only have one session left on the same eye in two weeks time and I will be done...wooohoooo! Again, I left the room and had to make my way down the elevator and out of the hospital while crying like a big baby. How embarrassing. I'm standing in the elevator with like 6 other people, sobbing in my corner. Nobody knew where to look...including me. Gosh, what a suck I am. I'm usually very good with pain, but this just doesn't seem to be working for me.
Today I'm having quite a hard time seeing very clearly. Thank goodness I don't really need to see in order to type. Hopefully, it's readable.
The three new babies are getting so big. It looks like Marie may actually be white!..'You are not the father'! Strange, isn't it? Maybe there's something Poppy needs to tell Bailey..not that I think he'd care, really. I will get some new video of them today and put it on my photo/video blog. They are adorable.
Now for 'Things You Hardly ever get to say in real life:

1) 'If you do that for too long, will my eyeball explode?'
2) 'I have no children.' (That was for Forsythia!)
3) '(To my bewildered NAI Hubby) - I'm not going for my eye surgery unless your mother makes me egg salad sandwiches.'
4) 'I have a floater that's the shape of a seahorse still in my eye, can you blast it with the laser.' (Yes I said this to my surgeon, even though I knew that seahorses are on the endangered species list!) Btw, he wouldn't...bastard!
5) 'Gee I hope we can sell some of these baby birds...I feel like I'm in an Alfred Hitchcock movie.'
These may be things that one hardly ever gets to say, but I managed to say all that within the last 48 hours or so...sigh.
Anyway, in other news..and on a more serious note..I have stumbled across some pretty amazing blogs in the last week or so. They are blogs written by people who have what used to be called Multiple Personality Disorder, now called Dissociative Identity Disorder.(DID) The reason I am so interested in this disorder is because 'the mother unit', (my mother) had it. (I realize now how insensitive I was with her..even calling her Sybil all the time! She never caught on.) It was very stressful, to say the least, growing up with her, but reading these blogs has really given me some empathy for what 'the mother unit' was going through. She never sought any help for it, as every time she went near a psychiatrist, they would lock her up for various lengths of time. I really realize, after reading these blogs, that 'the mother unit' did the absolute best she could with what she had. It was not her fault that some of her 'people' hated me and she was not aware of what terrible things they did to me. She, to this day, does not remember anything she ever did that was traumatic to me. I once confronted her a few years ago with some of the things she did that still keep me up at night. The look on her face said it all! She said simply, 'That didn't happen.' I could tell from her reaction that she had no memory of it. I knew she wasn't lying. I dropped it, as I wasn't talking to the right person who actually would know what happened. I was frustrated, but I also realized that the woman I was speaking to just didn't know what was going on half the time. She was not aware of what the others inside her did and just had spaces of no memory all her life.
I digress!
I just want to thank these brave people who blog about this disorder. It can't be easy, actually, for them, life is very hard and I appreciate that they share with us how it is for them. I never thought of it from the other side before, and I've learned a lot from reading their and all their 'personalities' postings. God bless you for helping me to understand what I may not of considered before. Bringing awareness to DID will help to combat some of the stigma and misconceptions about it. May God grant you all some peace.
Anyhoo, have a great weekend all and I'll write again asap.
Take care

My Blog is Getting Soooo Boring....

My blog has gotten so boring lately that I don't even want to read it. I think I'm going through a dry spell and I apologize for that. It's just that nothing is happening in my life right now and it makes for poor fodder for writing.
Anyhoo, I went on Thursday for my eye op and it went pretty good! Not as painful as it has been before and it seemed to go quite fast. Whew! Only 3 more to go. I'll be glad when they're done. The only thing I've noticed is that after each one, my eyesight is even dimmer than before. This procedure is not intended to improve my sight, but only to keep blindness at bey. However, the Dr. said it will diminish my sight a bit. Well, it's time for real (as apposed to reading) glasses. Maybe I'll get the big clown ones with the nose attached and feather eyebrows...could be fun!
The three babies are becoming enormous, all bums and bellies. So cute. Holly and I will be taking video of them and I'll post them. You'll all be shocked at their size. Their eyes are actually open now and they look like ugly little vultures at this point. But we love them anyway. However, we will be selling them. Just with the birds we have, there are times when you can't hear yourself think...our house is pretty loud. I wouldn't be able to handle anymore 'peeping'. I called Bambi the other day and she was busy so she put me on speaker phone so she could continue her work and talk at the same time..she said it sounded like I was calling from the rainforest. The blessing to all this is that, come night time, they are dead silent...except for Tequila who gets excited when his dad comes home from work. Tequila is so funny. When he sees his Dad walk down the hall to go to bed, he will screech to be put to bed too. He is free all day to sit on top of his cage or come out to the living room to visit us, but when dad goes to bed, he screams and gets into his cage waiting for us to close his door and cover him for the night. Spoiled bugger! Funny thing is about Tequila, he loves his dad and likes to sit on him, but dad is not allowed to touch him or he will bite. He's not the friendliest of birds and will only let me touch him or kiss him, although Holly can sometimes get a kiss if he's on his cage. So temperamental. Up at the love nest, the neighbours have a cockatiel that I sometimes visit. He's over 33 years old!! What!? Better get used to Holly, Tequila, cause I doubt I'll be around that long.
In other new....let's talk 'penis plugs'. Oh c'mon, you were all wondering about it for years and now I will explain it. (don't act like you weren't) Lumpy, (our guinea pig) was out playing on the floor the other day, when Holly noticed something hanging out of his back end. She freaked and brought him to me in a blanket, on his back, legs spread. I saw there was something there and I pulled on it thinking it was some debris from his cage. Out came this long, (about an inch) white rubbery thing. I dropped it on his blanket in horror. OMG, he's got worms. I had never heard of Lumpy's having worms before. I was horrified. Holly quickly dumped him back in his cage. She was even more freaked out than I was. I looked it up on the web and read it was highly unusual for a Lumpy to get worms but if they did it was serious. I kept searching. Something didn't seem quite right about it. I was almost positive that it wasn't coming from his bottom, but from his penis area. I finally found a vet blog that talked about 'penis plugs'. It turned out that he had been in heat, and sperm had collected and jelled. All you had to do was pull them out. So, I did...ugh...and he's fine. My poor little lumpy. He complained the whole time that it was very close to rape and he was feeling violated but we ignored him. He said he felt much better afterwards and thanked us. Boy, the things we do for our loved ones. I'm not sure I would even do that for my Hubby, as much as I love him. O.k. enough about that...I'm feeling kind of sick now....
We have joined a new church recently and it is wonderful. We all really enjoy it. The actual church building isn't all that big, but the congregation is big enough that they have 3 separate, but identical services on the weekends. Their first one being on Saturday nights. We love that fact, as Sunday is really the only day Hubby has off, so it's perfect. The music and the sermon are fantastic and the pastor is quite a young guy and very interesting. It is a very vibrant and active church and Holly is planning to go on a young adult retreat in July. It lasts 3 days and I think it will be good for her.
Well that's all there is to post about. Have a great weekend everyone.
Take care