Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Of Ice and Men

Right now, hockey fever has hit Canada, what with the semi-finals of the Stanley Cup playoffs. Hockey is absolutely the only sport I can actually get excited about...especially since my favorite team, the Ottawa Senators, are still in the game. My hubby has been a Toronto Maple Leaf fan his whole life, and we have a friendly, (sort of!) rivalry. I try to refrain from mentioning that his loser team hasn't won the cup for forty years, cause that would just be too easy. But I do anyway...lol. Actually, I have always been a die hard (literally) Leaf fan since I grew up in Toronto, however, when I moved to the Ottawa area for about 15 years, and I was there when they developed an Ottawa team finally, I became an Ottawa fan.
My husband and I used to actually bet on the games when our teams were playing together! Yeah, I'd borrow $20 from him and bet $5. A girl's gotta have some pin money!! My best friend taught me this trick...she's so smart.
Now, I am anything but a sportsy kind of girl, and I was kind of spoiled with my ex-husband, Fang. He hated sports, so we never had to watch any games of any kind. Well...except the ones he played at home!
Anyway, back to the subject at hand. As I said, I just wasn't the sportsy girl. Why run around and get all sweaty when one could just call a cab??? I was the 'Paris Hilton' of gym in high school. I would do nothing, wear heels, and just keep saying, 'I'm Hot.'
Now at the beginning of my relationship with hubby #2, the new and much improved hubby, I didn't say anything when he'd put on the golf, baseball, football (American!), and, (are you kidding me?!!), tennis or curling. After a few months of this, I seriously considered gouging my own eyes out with a couple of teaspoons. I couldn't take anymore of it.
Luckily, one day as we were busily preparing for another sports event, him setting up his snacks and beer, me making a slip knot to hang myself, he was kind enough to notice as I slipped it around my neck and stood on a wobbly chair. He looked up at me and with the most sincere and loving voice, he said, 'Honey, I can't see the t.v. with you up there!'
My next thought was, if you can't beat em, join em. After all, there has to be a compromise in every relationship. Here he was, always so thoughtful towards me, spoiled me rotten, and was totally present in our relationship. I had to try harder. One day, there just happened to be both a baseball game and a football game on. We would watch both of them and hubby would explain each game. I figured the main reason that I couldn't get into it was because I just didn't understand it. Makes sense, right?
Hubby agreed to answer all my questions and explain everything to me as the games played out. First the football game.... Hubby broke the first rule we had made with the very first question I asked. The rule was he wouldn't get frustrated and have an aneurysm if I asked something he felt wasn't pertinent. My first question was simple...what's up with the stupid outfits?? Did they not realize that wearing capri's that tight are not that attractive?! Who picks the crazy colours that don't even match? Do the player's mothers get mad when they come home with that much dirt on their suit? I know I would! After all, they're on t.v., couldn't they just try and stay tidy? The only thing I found out from hubby was that he knew nothing about the clothes.
O.k. Let's move on to the baseball game... First question...is the short-stop really short? Why don't they run the other way to those pillow things (the bases) just to make it more interesting? And the most important question of all...what the hell are they doing?? Had I known it would be this easy to discourage my hubby from watching sports, I would have asked a lot more questions in the beginning of our relationship.
But, we still enjoy watching hockey together. But have you ever noticed that in the coldest sport, the hockey players wear over sized shorts?? And what's up with the leg-warmers, held up with duct tape? They are so 80's.


mitchgib said...

Thanks for commenting on my blog. I am having "self-esteem" issues due to my rotten teenage son, and I am grasping for any positive connection I can get !
Can we still be friends if I tell you I am from Buffalo, and a huge Sabres Fan ?!

mitchgib said...

Hi Wonder-Woman !
Your Senators have sincerely outplayed and spanked my Sabres.
I am glad we didn't put any money down on these games !
Happy Mother's Day !
aka mitchgib